One chilly autumn day, I was minding the royal cattle and my own business when the earth vomited up a golden chariot with a god at the reins. Again? I thought.
       Not that it was Hades last time. Must be him now, since he came from his underworld realm. (Other immortals who drive chariots take a lofty route.) What I meant was that for the second time in a year, I, unimportant Prince Paris of Troy, had somehow drawn divine attention.
       Also, unlike the first time, the cattle stampeded. As my father's herd thundered away, my heart sank, but I didn't protest. Complaining to any god is a good way to get yourself killed. So I kept my mouth shut.
       The chariot's second occupant opened his, however, and strummed a lyre as he sang.
       Moments later, the cows came trotting back. "Many thanks, Orpheus," I said. We'd never met, but how many people can play the lyre that well? Except Apollo. Trust me, this wasn't Apollo.
       Orpheus scrambled over the shattered stone around the chariot, and Hades beckoned to me. "Get in, Trojan."
       Refusing a god's request is another good way to get yourself (see above). Orpheus was still playing, and now the herd was dancing, their hooves prancing, their heads swaying side to side instead of concentrating on the business of eating. Weird that Hades took the trouble to bring someone along to watch them for me. They're even entertained. Maybe that means I'll be safe, too.
       It was as bumpy a ride as you'd expect, starting with a lurch past a vein of flint, followed by a sudden jolt as we dropped below a copper deposit. All I could do was hang on and hope I wouldn't get myself (see above yet again) by accident.
       A shock of a different kind was realizing I could see my surroundings. Can't be due to my newly-granted wisdom. That's never let me see in the dark before. Most likely, it was magical illumination from Hades. He's called 'the Rich One' since everything underground is his property. It's possible he enjoys having his possessions on display, even to a mortal.
       Eventually, we pulled up in front of his palace. It was surprisingly squat but as golden as his chariot. Its windows were the largest I'd ever seen and, I suspected, made from sheets of diamond rather than glass. While a servant led his snorting team of charcoal-black horses away, I found myself facing three Olympians.
       Gray-eyed Athena stood on the right. She nodded to me as the owl on her shoulder ruffled his feathers. Ah, now I understand Orpheus' presence. As my patron, doubtless, she had told Hades to see to it someone minded the herd for me. If I get out of this, I must sacrifice one to each of them. Father will understand.
       Hermes hovered next to her. His famous pair of winged sandals kept him from touching the ground. Last spring, he showed up outside Troy's walls with three goddesses, handed me a golden apple, and said, "Give it to the most beautiful one."
       The Olympian on the left hadn't been among those three, though she certainly could have competed on merit. Judging by the richness of her garb--I was surprised she was able to stand, she was so weighed down by gold and gems--this had to be Persephone, Hades' reluctant wife. During the contest, I'd been bribed by Hera with a throne, by Aphrodite with a woman (and what a woman!), and by Athena with great wisdom. Likely, Persephone would have offered tremendous wealth if she had entered. What she wore on one forefinger would tempt any man.
       I prostrated myself on the cool stone before them all--always the best move when gods are involved. Hermes and Athena smiled. Persephone remained expressionless as a statue, like the captive imprisoned within a priceless cage she was.
       Hades bellowed, "Prince Paris, I call upon you to judge between immortals once again. Which of these three has robbed me of my Cap of Invisibility? They have all denied it. Which is lying?"
       As deep underground as I was, the trouble I was in was deeper still. Accusing any of them, even accurately, likely would instantly earn me eternity right here. I couldn't imagine Hades protecting me. Would Athena? I wasn't sure I could count on it.
       And if I denounced Hades' beloved (though understandably sour-tempered) wife, how would he react? How would she? The tortures of Sisyphus and Tantalus are famous--was my name to be added to that list?
       I took a deep breath, stalling for time. The Rich One shook a fist at me. "Well? Use your wits, Trojan."
       Oh, believe me, I was. "May I humbly ask why I, a lowly mortal, was chosen to decide this matter? My handsome face was my sole qualification for the previous contest." That, and the fact that Zeus longed for peace and quiet on Mount Olympus, which he'd never have if he'd tried to be the judge himself.
        "Every immortal knows Athena made you wisest of mortals. I would have chosen her in your stead, but she is a suspect herself. I don't worry that you are biased in her favor." He sneered. "She can't bribe you this time.
       "Now answer me! And arise--you can't see their faces properly from down there."
       Standing gave me more room to bow. "Lord Hades, I beg your permission to investigate this matter as I would one in Troy. I have some experience in such matters in my city. Perhaps then I might determine the truth."
       The furrows on the god's brow deepened. Hades was used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted. (Except for Persephone's love, of course.) At last, he folded his arms. "Proceed."
       "Where did you last see it?"
       "In her hand." He stabbed his finger toward my patron. "Athena takes it often, most recently for another of her favorites, Perseus."
       Athena's eyebrows rose. "I borrowed it, with your consent, as always. Yesterday, I returned it."
       "So you say," he sneered.
       "Yes, she placed it on its pedestal, husband," Persephone hissed.
       Hades began to pace. "Then so say you both, but it was not there when I returned to my palace. If one Olympian lies, why not another, on her behalf?"
       Athena's gray eyes flashed above her now-glowing shield. "Never before have I been called a liar, Uncle. Wisdom does not require deceit."
       Well, maybe not if you're a goddess. But I doubted she was the thief. What was her motive? She could borrow it whenever she wanted--that is, if clever Daedalus wasn't already making one for her, which I wouldn't put past him.
       "Perhaps you speak truly. In that case, much as it pains me to say it, my queen also had opportunity and motive," Hades went on.
       "If I had the Cap of Invisibility, would I be here now? Better unseen in the land of the living than bedecked as I am in that of the dead." Persephone's hands clenched, multiple rings digging into her palms. "But I am required to remain half the year with my abductor for eternity because I swallowed a handful of seeds as a child. Can you truly say I have ever refused to return to you?"
       She had a point, but Persephone knew how much he valued his Cap. Spite might lead her to hide it--which meant it was still down here. In that case, I might find it.
       "I don't know why I'm here," grumbled Hermes, tossing his golden curls.
       Hades' eyes narrowed. "You've used it before--"
       "With your permission, once, many years ago."
       "You come often to the underworld--"
       "To guide the dead to the Styx. Zeus himself set me that task."
       "And you are the god of thieves. If you didn't steal it, don't you know who did?"
       "No, or I would have told you. I am also the god of those who live by their wits--which now includes young Paris here." With a chuckle, he asked me, "Do you think me guilty?"
       Those wits were indeed keeping me alive, which meant answering that question was out of the question. Time to change the subject. I gestured to the dead walking by. "Your kingdom holds countless subjects, my lord. Some were no doubt thieves in life. Is it possible--"
       Hades shook his head. "No shade can enter my palace. Besides, they have no physical substance and thus could not lift the Cap."
       "What about your servants?"
       "All are men of metal, crafted by Hephaestus at his forge to do my bidding and that of my wife. They are but moving tools, with no will of their own."
       "Did you question them about the theft?" I was grasping at straws here, and I knew it. Any thief would have donned the Cap at once and sneaked past any watcher, metal man or shade.
       He folded his arms. "Obviously, yet all deny seeing anyone take it off its pedestal. Once atop the thief's head, how could they see his or her escape? Furthermore, no living thief could reach my realm. Not with Cerberus on guard." Hades bit his lip, recalling an uncomfortable visit or two by Heracles. "At least, not without my knowing about it."
       "What does your ferryman say?"
       "He cannot pass Cerberus either. I did ask him if he had seen anything unusual, but in a sulk, he told me he had misplaced a penny or some such coin. He refuses to help until it is found."
       My pulse quickened. "Has he ever before lost one?"
       "Not as far as I know."
       "May I search for this penny? Even if I fail, if he sees me trying, he may give the information I need to find that for which you seek."
       Hades growled under his breath but called for his horses, and off we headed to the Styx. The ride was much smoother this time. In a way, that made the journey harder to bear since now I had nothing to do but watch the aimless wanderings of the dead. That would be my fate, as it is for all mortals, in the future. If I'm smart enough to make it through today.
       At last, we reached Charon, sitting on the riverbank with his bony legs dangling just over the Styx. Its murky waters lapped at the prow of his boat, which sat halfway out of the water. He looked up as we approached. "By the sweat of my brow and strain of my back and arms do I earn my fee for passage. I won't be cheated. Never again will I ferry anyone until my penny is returned."
       "Ridiculous!" roared Hades, Cerberus echoing him furiously from all three sets of jaws. "One penny. Bah!" He stomped his foot, raising a puff of dust.
       "When one is stolen, more may be. Many more." The ferryman rapped a pole against his boat.
       I crouched beside him. "Where did you last see it?"
       Charon jerked his chin toward a stack of coins, one of a seemingly endless number lining the cavernous wall. "Just beside the nearest column. It was to be the first of another. You can see it's not there anymore."
       True. Walking over, I saw nothing there as far as I could tell. And when I say "nothing," I include any mark in the dust the penny should have left. I felt around where the ferryman had pointed. "Ah. Is this your Cap of Invisibility, Lord Hades? With the missing coin beneath it?"
       To my surprise, Charon's lunge to seize his fee was faster than his boss could snatch the bronze Cap from my other hand. "But how can it have been invisible?" demanded Hades. "Only when someone puts it on do both Cap and wearer disappear."
       "It lay atop the coin."
       "Which is not a person!"
       "It has a king's face carved upon it. And…the ferryman treats it as dearly as a person." I nodded to Charon. He was crooning over it as if it were a babe. Kind of makes you wonder about him. (Hades just brushed the dust off his Cap.) "I think the thief knew how Charon feels about his coins. They must have met."
       "Very well," Hades rolled his eyes. "Which Olympian hid it?"
       An idea bubbled up into my mind. "With respect, I do not believe it was an Olympian. You see, I think the thief wanted to steal not your Cap, but your contentment."
       His face reddened. "Only my queen would have that goal." He swung around and strode toward his chariot.
       Though Athena herself calls me wise, I proved myself anything but as I dashed past Hades to seize the bridles of his team. I would not allow Persephone to suffer for someone else's crime.
       I can only assume he didn't strike me down on the spot from sheer astonishment. Certainly, his jaw dropped. "Lord Hades, you were most kind to bring Orpheus to watch Troy's herd for me."
       "I didn't do it for you. What care I for your cattle? Though Orpheus is a mortal, his mother is a Muse, making him my kin. After his wife died, he visited me, playing so beautifully that Persephone smiled, just for a moment. She never smiles here." His voice cracked, then he swallowed hard. "So I granted his wish to have Eurydice return to life.
       "I warned him not to look back on the way out. But Orpheus didn't trust me that she would follow him. One glance, and--" The lord of the dead sighed. "Ever since, he has been moping near the entrance to the underworld, singing of his guilt. So I brought him with me to distract him."
       "So he lost her--and then you lost your dearest possession."
       Hades blinked. "But--but Orpheus must be innocent. The first time he played so sweetly, Cerberus lay down and let him pass, but he did not try a second time. I would have known it."
       "Lord Hades, stones themselves roll toward Orpheus to hear his music. Wouldn't your Cap come at his call?"
       "I…never thought to ask if anyone saw it leave my palace, just if they saw someone enter to take it." Hades' eyes glittered like some of his gems. "Perhaps Orpheus would be happier if he stayed here permanently with his love." Silently, I agreed with him.
       The underworld's lord took the reins of his chariot. "You have done well. What reward do you ask?"
       To have the gods leave me alone. No, I didn't say that either. But you must be careful when asking a god for anything. If they consider it impudent…
       He plucked a brooch from his chest, offering it to me. Centered on it was an immense sapphire, no doubt priceless. It was also the same shade of blue as Persephone's eyes. I stepped back. "Great Hades, I am honored to have served you. That memory alone is a greater treasure than any other."
       He tilted his head, staring at me. "A wise choice, Paris of Troy. I will remember those words when you return to my kingdom."
       There was a splash as Charon pushed his ferry back into the Styx. That distracted me, so I jumped when someone tapped my shoulder. I gasped when I saw it was Hermes. "I will take him home, Uncle. Likely, Orpheus will have fled by now."
       Travel by winged sandal (for he lent me one) was unforgettable. Holding on to Hermes made for a far pleasanter trip than clinging to a chariot. "Answer me this, Paris. Why did you choose Athena? I tried to wager you would choose love instead." He grinned. "But no one would bet against me."
       I shrugged as the wind blew through my hair. "Helen of Sparta is married. How many Trojans would die if I carried her off? Though I lacked wisdom before Athena's gift, I could guess that much."
       "Then why not choose Hera? You would gain a throne and any number of lovely women, if not so fair as Helen."
       "Becoming a king would likely mean the deaths of my father and older brother." Hermes looked away, not denying it.
       What I didn't tell Hermes was that he almost won the golden apple. If I had dared, I would have awarded it to him, even without a bribe. But as I said before, you must be careful when you speak to the gods...